It was a doubt until I ended it in sex.

I was a young boy who had no experience how man feels sexually until I was betrayed, when my selftrust fetched water out of my eyes.  I thought it was the work of the devil when I ended it up in sex with her.

As if the first wasn't enough, until I was betrayed and disgraced over again. So, I determined to gear up my mind and raise the bar of my confidence ahead of the next temptation but all to no avail.

After all, that day wasn't the first time she'd come to spend hours to play with me.

For almost a year that we have been in a relationship, we have been spending quality times together without any third party in the room even sometimes all night together and I have never touched her.

I could remember that, pastor used to warn youths in church against staying together in the same room with the opposite sex.

But I thought within me that, since nothing couldn't transpired between us for the past one year, that isn't a problem and more so, it's a way of developing my self control.

But now, I felt betrayed by my self-trust after I ended it up in sex with her. And I have always wish to be sexually pure but it turned out in an unexpected way.

What I used to hear then was that, "don't trust anybody", but I couldn't figure out my own body and self-trust yet in what we should not trust until I was betrayed.

For nights, I was awaken been tormented by my own self-trust. Then I noticed, My pillow was wet and I had soaked it with tears.

But every drop of my tears means different things.

A drop for my stupidity.
I cried because I was stupid to believe that I can be betrayed by my overconfidence. I was stupid to understand that, my confidence can mar my destiny.

Another tears fell for the pain that self confidence caused in my heart.

Pains that cannot be fixed by man's consolation. My heart only increases it's burning flame as a result of the reassurance which man brought to it, the more consolation from man the more my heart burn in pain.

Because I felt my confidence had no feelings for me.

Until I met with a special friend who doesn't relate with me through feelings and emotions.

Hey! Dear reader, will you continue searching for me in the story or you'll pick your lesson down here?

***

"Don't you know that it is foolishness to be toying with fire when you know that it can turn you to ashes"?

The fact that you've been overcoming those temptations doesn't means you cannot be pull down by them anymore.

Judas Iscariot had been nursing his flair for money long ago before having that secret negotiation with the chief priests and elders overnight and he sold Jesus  the one who can safe him from eternal damnation.

If it is save for us to play with the fire without been hurt or burnt, the Bible wouldn't have instructed us to flee every evil appearances.

Unguided thoughts around the opposite sex with overconfidence or assumption of building self-control could result in a betrayed confidence.

While I was making my research and in my experience, I unearthed that, overconfidence is part of the devices that the devil is using to pull down some folks even when they had determined to be sexually pure against the opposite sex.

Some would even say it to their Pastor's face that, I fit hold my body. Nothing will happen it is just a matter of self control.

Wait, I'm not only talking about that lady or your girlfriend but also those appearances of the devil which is contrary to what we received at the place of birth (Born Again) in Christ.

Virtually, every appearances of evil/devil is an opposite sex to every believers. And it is what every believers must keep away from in order to prevent entanglement with it.

It is really disheartening seeing some folks today hiding under the umbrella of " the works of the devil (ise Esu ).

I could remembered then, the ready made or constant answer that came when someone is guilty of an offense.

You'll hear, why have you done that?
And you'll be hearing ehm, ehm, ehm,....i, I, I, ise Esu ni (it is the works of the devil).

1John 3:8 says,

He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.

Therefore, it is crystal clear that there are no more works of the devil again other than our ignorance.

That is why we shouldn't be ignorant of the devices of the devil.

2 Timothy 2:22 says,

Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

The scripture didn't admonished us to fight the appearance of the devil, instead we should flee from it.

When it comes to sexual matters and other actions related to sin, don't dare prove smartness at all because no one is smart at that level.

Isaiah 40: 31 says,

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint".

Therefore, it is a pointer that our strenght isn't/wouldn't be enough to battle those principalities, our weakness can only be strengthened not by improving our self-control nor by leaning on our confidence but by laying our weaknesses before Jesus Christ and taking His own strength.

In that case, a friend is needed. A friend who doesn't relate with man by/through emotions and feelings, a friend that helps you in discerning the acceptable and unacceptable things of God.

Ephesians 6:12-18 gives us the imagery of who we're contending with, and ammunitions or devices that are capable of pulling down the strongholds.

The physical strenght and ideology of man cannot combat against those strongholds.

The imperfections of man can only be made perfect in Jesus by fleeing from all appearances of the devil and laying our weaknesses and old flames to carry Jesus strength and fire.

Perhaps, you're tired of that addiction, that opposite sex playing with your destiny, or you've been worn out of your strength in battling an unfruitful relationship with that lady (sin).

John 1:16-17 says,
"And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace.

For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ".

Jesus is waiting for you now, He's ready to accept you as you're and to give you  everything he possessed.

Isn't that a greater Grace?

Shalom.